A well written recommendation letter improves your chances of getting it signed. Writing a successful recommendation letter doesn’t have to be difficult; and, much like the standard essay, recommendation letters can be broken down into easy to manage parts. In this article I will break down the different pieces of the recommendation letter to help you successfully write your own.
If the idea of writing your own recommendation letter sounds odd to you, check out my previous article Never Task the Admiral: Successful Recommendation Letter Strategies. I am a big proponent of writing your recommendation letters yourself. This advice was given to me by one of my Warrant Officer mentors while I was putting my officer package together back in the day, and it has served me well every time I’ve needed to ask for a recommendation letter.
So without further ado, let’s jump into it.
Formatting
Letter formatting is very specific and should follow the Secretary of the Navy’s Correspondence Manual (SECNAV M-5216.5 series). In addition, you should follow the the Guide to Naval Writing. I recommend following the example in this blog as a general guideline, but always have a Yeoman or other administrative personnel take a look at it for spelling, grammar, and formatting before you route it.
I won’t get into the nitty gritty of the formatting here, you can look it up in the Correspondence Manual (that’s what a good officer would do), but major things you’re going to need in your letter include: official letterhead, “From”, “To”, “Subj”, serial number, date, numbered paragraphs, and the printed name and signature of the individual endorsing you with their recommendation. In addition, keep your recommendation letters to one page. Anymore than a page and you letter will likely be rewritten, or won’t be read. Again, you need to make giving you a recommendation easy. That means getting the formatting perfect before you send it to the person whose recommendation you’re seeking (or their secretary).
Take a deep dive into the Correspondence Manual and the Guide to Naval Writing to make sure you have the details like the margins, the punctuation in the address line, or the number of spaces between the signer’s name and the end of the body of the letter correct. You might as well get used to Navy writing and learn how to do it now; as an officer, you will write a lot. There’s an anonymous personal quote in the third edition of the Guide to Naval Writing from a retired Naval Officer that I really like. It says, “I was a math major. I was in the Navy twenty-one years, and I never solved a differential equation. But I wrote every day.”
The content of a recommendation letter is much like that of a short, concise, argumentative essay; there is an introduction, a body, and a conclusion that contains a call to action. The argument the letter is trying to make in this case is why you (the individual being recommended for a naval commission) has what it takes to be a Naval Officer. There are three nuances to the standard recommendation letter that you must keep in mind as you write: 1) the letter is written in present and past tense; 2) it is written from the perspective of the individual giving you the recommendation; and 3) the target audience of the letter is the decision making body for the program to which you are applying.
Perspective, Target Audience, and Tense
Before we get into the major pieces of the recommendation letter, I want to spend a little time discussing tense, perspective, and target audience. A well written recommendation letter must be consistent in each of these three areas.
First and foremost, you must be consistent in the perspective from which you are writing. Remember, you are writing this letter from the perspective of the person from whom you are seeking a recommendation. Therefore, you must ensure that you write each sentence as coming from them, not you. It can feel very awkward at first, like talking about yourself in the third person, but remember you want a recommendation from this person, therefore the voice of the letter must be theirs. Similar to your evals, this letter is being written about you, so it should always refer to you either by rank, name, or he/she.
In addition to the perspective of your letter, you must be consistent in who you are targeting in your letter. Your target audience is the selection board. Each sentence, therefore, is directed at the individuals that make up that board; the recommender is telling them how great you are and why they’re willing to stake their reputation on you. Besides the “To” line of the letter, your target audience should be clearly evident throughout the letter.
Lastly, your letter is written in two different tenses: present tense and past tense. It is written in present tense when your recommender is issuing a call to action to the board: “Select her now!”, “I give my strongest possible recommendation…”, etc. However, the letter is written in past tense when your recommender is providing the supporting evidence about your performance: “Petty Officer Smith developed program X, an innovative approach to Y that has proven both cost effective and sustainable.”, “He provided…”, “She coordinated…”, etc.
If written well, your letter should be short, concise, and flow like a brief argument. It should flow something like this: This guy/gal has great officer potential and I recommend them for program X, these are all the great things they’ve done to earn my recommendation, they would make a great officer and you should select them now!
Next we’re going to look at the Introduction, Body, and Conclusion of your recommendation letter. While your high school or college English course may have taught you a great deal about thesis statements and paragraph structure, this is not that.
Introduction
In a standard argumentative essay your introduction paragraph would contain an attention getting device, some background about your topic, and the all important thesis statement. This is not that kind of an introduction paragraph.
The introduction paragraph for a Navy recommendation letter is a strong, one sentence endorsement from your recommender. Nothing more, nothing less. It is a very simple sentence consisting of three parts: 1) your recommender states their recommendation 2) for you by name 3) for the specific program you are applying to. For example, “It is without hesitation that I give my strongest possible recommendation to ET2(AW) Bryant for the Seaman to Admiral Program.” This is the standard no matter what your recommendation is for; short, sweet and to the point.
Body
A body paragraph in your run of the mill argumentative essay would be complete with Topic Sentence, Evidentiary Statements, Supporting Evidence, and Closing Statement. However, we don’t have time or space for all that in your recommendation letter.
The body of your recommendation letter is a concise summary of your accomplishments that support the argument that you are a great candidate for the officer program you are applying to. It should be no more than one or two paragraphs. There are many ways to organize and attack this section of the letter, but in my experience and opinion, the body paragraph can be thought of as accomplishing two major functions: 1) it objectively summarizes your relevant professional accomplishments and accolades, and links them to the “big picture”; and, 2) it objectively summarizes your relevant personal accomplishments and accolades, and links them to the “big picture.”
The first function of the body paragraph focuses on your professional accomplishments and accolades and should be supported by evidential statements of cause and effect. The professional accomplishment portion of your body paragraph is the primary focus of the body section; your personal accomplishments will take a secondary position to these.
Much like the discussion on eval writing in my previous article, Improve Your Evals – Improve Your Chances of Being Selected, what you say about your professional accomplishments should answer the question: “So what?” You do this be using evidence that establishes a cause and effect. There is a big difference between saying, “She was a driving force at X command where she led a logistics team of 30 military and civilian personnel”, and “She was a driving force at X command where she led a logistics team of 30 military and civilian personnel, resulting 50% increase in requisition processing efficiency.” The later statement shows cause and effect. The effect being that because of her leadership the command was able to realize a 50% increase in requisition processing efficiency.
But, this statement could be even better if it were to relate to the “big picture.” The “big picture” in this case is the strategic objectives of the community from which you are seeking acceptance. Remember, it is the job of a leader to create the vision for their organization and set the direction of effort. Fortunately for us, those visions and directions of effort are usually published in easy to find places online. For example, a quick Google search can pull up the Navy Supply Systems Command Strategic Plan 2017-2021 & Commander’s Guidance. Now, if we take the time to dissect this document we find that two of the Commander’s Strategic Priorities apply to our previous statement: 1) Improving processes; and 2) delivering efficiencies to our customers through innovation and problem solving. Armed with these two “big picture” bullets, we can revise our statement to something like:
“She was a driving force at X command where she led a logistics team of 30 military and civilian personnel, and developed new initiatives that have realized the NAVSUP Commander’s strategic priorities by improving processes and delivering a 50% increase in requisition processing efficiency.”
This statement has a lot going for it. Not only does it show that she is a proven leader, it also shows that she is solving problems that align with the Commander’s strategic vision. It is one thing to list your professional accomplishments in the body paragraph of your recommendation letter. But if you want to take it to the next level, write your accomplishments in a way that not only displays your ability, but also shows the positive effects of your efforts and how your effort support the strategic “big picture.” What you want to demonstrate with your statements about your professional accomplishments is why they’re important and how they support the Navy’s overall mission. While it may seem obvious that a “50% increase in requisition processing efficiency” is a good thing, make it easy for the board to connect this accomplishment with the Commander’s strategic priority; literally spell it out for them.
The second major function of the body paragraph focuses on your personal accomplishments. Much like the professional statements you should try to find a way to relate how your personal accomplishments support your professionalism and your potential as a Naval Officer. As previously mentioned, this section is secondary to your professional accomplishments, but it is important because it gives the board a sense of who you are and that you’re spending your personal time on personal and professional development. For the recommendation letter, one or two should suffice.
For my OCS recommendation letter I chose to focus on my education. I had recently finished my Bachelor’s degree and was working on my Master’s degree. I did a poor job in my letter relating my education to the bigger picture. What I said was, “In addition, demonstrating his dedication to personal and professional growth during this challenging transition he earned his Bachelor’s degree, Summa Cum Laude, and began graduate school with the University of Southern California.” To relate these personal accomplishments to the “big picture”, I could have said something like:
“In addition, demonstrating his dedication to personal and professional growth, and in line with the Navy Leader Development Framework, during this challenging transition he earned his Bachelor’s degree, Summa Cum Laude, and began graduate school with the University of Southern California.”
This is a much better statement because it not only shows that I am working on my personal and professional development during my own time, but also that my efforts are in line with big Navy’s leadership development strategy.
This may seem a bit daunting to keep track of all your accomplishments and how they relate to bigger Navy programs. However, it’s not because you don’t have to. Your evaluations, if you’ve written them well, should have all of your accomplishment clearly stated in the Comments section of your evaluation. But how do I relate them to the “big picture? That too, is easy: Google it. You want to know what the Fleet Forces Strategic Objectives are? Google it, read it, decide how your accomplishments meet one or two of the objectives, then incorporate a reference to that document into your accomplishment statement.
A couple of words of caution on this technique. One, make sure that you’re selecting relevant documents to relate to the “big picture.” For example, you shouldn’t be quoting the Chief of the Supply Corps Strategic Objectives if you’re applying to be a pilot. This should seem obvious, but these documents are all very similar; double check the office that it’s coming from. Two, make sure you’re using the most up to date document. Many of these documents will be updated annually, or at the very least when there is a change of leadership. It would not be a great look to be using the previous Commander of Naval Surface Forces vision and guidance if the new Commander has already published theirs.
Conclusion
Much like the rest of your recommendation letter, the conclusion or final part of your recommendation letter is different than your standard essay. Instead of being a repeat of your thesis statement, summary of main points, and conclusive statement that brings it all together, the conclusion of your recommendation letter is a call to action directed at the commissioning board. The final section should be full of praise, direct the board to select you, and could even invite the board to contact the recommender.
Here are a couple of examples of good concluding recommendation letter sections:
- It is without a doubt that Petty Officer Sherman is the Sailor you want in this billet. She is an intelligent, dependable, and motivated leader. She will not disappoint. If you need additional information or would like to discuss my recommendation in greater detail, please contact me at (insert email address or phone number).
- Petty Officer Wright has the leadership ability and intellect I expect from Officers under my command, the Wardroom will gain an outstanding Officer of the highest caliber our Navy has to offer. Select him now!
Both of these letters contain the ingredients of a well written closing to a recommendation letter: they offer ample praise, and deliver a call to action to the selection board.
My OCS Letter
The below is a copy of my OCS Letter of Recommendation. I’ve included it here for you to use as an example.
Other resources
If you’re looking for more examples or info on how to write military recommendation letters, make sure to check out these other articles:
https://www.dodreads.com/the-lost-art-of-military-recommendation-letters/https://eforms.com/recommendation-letter/army/
Good article!